The Adventures of Liliri and Nairana Chapter 6 - A Goblin's Luck

But Nairana wasn't the only one getting the best show of her life, for in the darkness beyond the light of the campfire, hidden behind a large rock, a goblin was watching too.

Glibzbit couldn't believe his luck.
This morning, he had finally gotten the object of his desire, which he believed would make him rich.
The SuperSnapper FX was the latest achievement of goblin engineering ingenuity, the first "virtual realistic non-fairy-or-other-small-creature-driven definitely-designed-by-a-true-goblin-and-not-a-stinking-smelly-little-hairy-gnome automagical image producing device the world had ever seen".
Unfortunately it's cost was calculated by the length of it's slogan, which was the reason why it had taken Glibzbit more than two months to raise the money to buy it. Actually added to that came another month's work for the money to buy the not-included "never-ending supra-magical also-designed-by-a-true-goblin-and-not-one-of-them-darn-stinking-gnomes-who-steal-our-designs imaging paper roll".
But now he finally owned it, and could execute his masterplan.

While all those stupid adventurers who somehow managed to afford a SuperSnapper FX went into the hinterlands to make a picture of that old turtle Gammerita, he himself was much more intelligent and wise.
This was why, instead of going to the hinterlands, he was travelling to Land's End beach at the south tip of Tanaris, to find and supersnap the legendary El Gummerito, a turtle so fierce that she had once eaten everyone in an entire goblin village.
At least that was the story his great-grandfather had told him when he was a little kid.
Admittedly, his great-grandfather was also seeing some legendary goblin eating turtle in his own house in some nights, which coincided with those nights where he had spent the evening in the tavern.
But Glibzbit was very sure that El Gummerito actually existed, or his great-grandfather surely wouldn't have told him about it.
And he was about to prove it to them all!
Now he had the SuperSnapper FX, which came with a guarantee to be able to produce an image of any creature, living or undead, before said creature could eat the operator of the SuperSnapper, a problem that had long persisted with previous imaging devices, which usually consisted of a wooden box with a fairy inside, which usually took way too long to draw anything, resulting in the untimely death of those users who tried to supersnap aggressive creatures without adequate protection.
But with the new SuperSnapper FX, one could supersnap, and immediately start running away! Truly an exceptional achievement of goblin technology.

So now, armed with his futuristic device, he was going to find the turtle of terror, supersnap it, and return a hero to his village! And get very rich!
He was going to sell copies of the image of El Gummerito, and the year before he had invested all of his gold into some goblin who was working on the SuperShop FX, a machine which would make it possible to combine two supersnapped images. With that he would be able to supersnap anyone who paid him, and then use the SuperShop FX to make it look like that person was actually riding on the mighty El Gummerito!
This was the best business idea in the history of all goblins, and even all those hairy gnomes would envy him for it!
Yes, he would become the most famous and rich goblin the world had ever seen!

So lost in these thoughts had he been that at first he didn't even notice the shine of a fire in the distance.
But, getting his bearings, he now became more careful. After all, there could be someone who wanted to steal his business idea at that fire, and he certainly didn't want that to happen!
He slowly crept nearer to the fire, which was blocked from his sight by a huge rock.
Once he had reached the rock, he peeked around it.
And his jaw hit the ground.
There were two women there, a draenei and an elf. The elf was sitting at the fire, but the draenei, she was dancing in front of it. And she was almost naked!
He couldn't believe it.
Of course he had seen some naked goblin women in his life, but never anything like this. The draenei was looking gorgeous even from afar. And now she dropped her undershirt!
He had never before seen quite anything like it. In fact, it was the best thing he'd ever seen.
He couldn't stop watching. Now the elf was moving towards the draenei and doing something he couldn't properly see from his vantage point, but understood when the draenei's panties fell to the ground.
And now the elf got up, and began to dance.
This was the best thing ever to happen to him, he thought.
The purple haired elf stripped herself of her robe and produced a most beautiful, albeit small breasted body.
Glibzbit couldn't believe his luck.

Enthralled by the erotic view, but still a greedy goblin, he briefly wondered if he should approach them once they were finished and try to talk them into visiting him and buying an image of them riding El Gummerito once he had opened his business.
Then it dawned on him. He had been wrong all the time!
Supersnapping El Gummerito and selling images with him wasn't the best business idea in the world after all.
Because what would people, or at least men, want to buy even more than a picture of them riding El Gummerito?
A picture of them standing next to a naked woman of course!
Or even a picture of just a naked woman!
He already saw himself swimming in money. Yes, he truly was the greatest inventor and business genius in the history of the world!
Yes, he would supersnap the naked elf and sell copies of the picture to everyone and they would all call him a hero and make him rich! This was the best idea ever!
And this was the best day ever, giving him not only this greatest of all ideas, but also the opportunity to immediately start his business, without any delay.
But he had to be fast now, before the elf was finished with her dance.

He cursed himself for not having actually tried out his SuperSnapper FX before, but he had set out on his journey directly after the purchase and had intended to read the manual once he made camp for the night.
Now he had to hurry. He hastily unpacked his prized possession and opened it's manual, quickly skimming pages.
He inserted the supra-magical imaging paper roll into the SuperSnapper according to the instructions and screwed the Ultra-Optical-Enhancement-Lens into it's intended place.
When he looked through the little window on the back of the SuperSnapper, which he pointed towards the naked girls, he was delighted to see them as big through the lens as if he was standing right in front of them. The SuperSnapper FX was truly worth it's money!
He could make a great image from where he was, without needing to get nearer. Perfect.
He skimmed another few pages of the manual, working out how to activate the device.
Once he knew the correct order of buttons he had to press in order to have the SuperSnapper automatically produce a sharp image of what it was aimed at, the goblin took position, aimed at the dancing elf, and turned a little knob until the elf was filling out the whole of the little window through which he was looking.
Then he waited for the right moment. The elf had gotten completely nude meanwhile, still slowly dancing, and he intended to capture the whole goods, not just her back or side.
When she finally turned so that her chest was facing him, he hit the red button.
And his heart stopped for a moment.
When he hit the button, the SuperSnapper FX produced a bright flash like lightning, accompanied by a loud bang.
He didn't even curse himself for not testing the device earlier, or at least read the whole manual, so stunned was he.
He heard the elf scream, and saw her start running and jump behind the next rock.
But then he looked towards the draenei, who had been sitting at the fire, watching the elf dance. Now she was looking directly at him. He gave a yelp. The draenei jumped up, still naked, but, unlike the elf, she didn't hide.
'Oh no', he thought when he saw her pick up something that looked like a bow. He began to run.
She would kill him. He had no weapon to defend himself with, except his small hunting knife, and the scorned woman had a bow. And arrows.
In his panic he ran as fast as he could, somehow managing not to stumble over his short legs.

But the draenei was faster, having legs twice as long as the goblin was tall.
When an arrow grazed his hear, he stopped, threw himself on the ground and started yelling, "Please don't kill me! I didn't see anything! I didn't watch! Please don't kill me! I..i was just trying to catch something to eat! Please don't kill me! I have a family!"
Not feeling quite dead yet, he slowly turned around. The huntress stood above him, an arrow aiming directly at his face.
Only now did he notice that his hands were empty, having accidently dropped the SuperSnapper FX when he cowered down.
He threw his hands into the air and pleaded again, "Please don't kill me! I did nothing!"
"You shot at us!", the draenei sneered at him.
"What? No! I would never do such a thing!"
"We saw the flash and heard the bang. You used of those disgusting rifles and shot it at us! Where is it?"
She flexed the bowstring.
Glibzbit was weighing his options. He decided better not to tell the furious woman that he had snapped a picture of the naked elf, so he quickly concocted a lie.
"Uh, yes, it was a rifle, but i only tried to shoot some small rodent i've seen flitting around. For dinner! You know, they taste delicious! With salt and pepper..you should try some! I didn't even see you until after i fired at the animal! I swear! I'm a good person! Why would i try to shoot at someone as big as you?". He assumed a kitten like look with his face, staring with big pleading eyes at the draenei.
"Where's your rifle?", she asked him, the arrow still aiming at his heart.
"Uh..i threw it in the water! Yes, that's it! I was so surprised when i heard the scream and saw you coming at me, i just threw it away in reflex and i'm sure it must have landed somewhere in the water! So you see, even if i wanted to shoot at you, i couldn't do it anymore! When a rifle gets wet it doesn't work anymore!", he looked happy, pleased with himself for his good lie.
He wasn't sure if the draenei believed him, but at least she was lowering her bow now.
She was eyeing him for a while, before letting out a small sigh, and said, "Well, even with a rifle you'd be no threat to me. So i guess i'll let you go. Perhaps you're even telling the truth."
Glibzbit nodded eagerly in agreement, relieved to be safe.

But then his face turned ashen, when suddenly a little 'ding' sound came from a few yards behind them, and both looked into the direction it came from, seeing the SuperSnapper FX lying on the ground, a small piece of paper protruding from it, barely visible in the moonlight.
"What's that?", the draenei asked him, already a new arrow in the bow and aimed at him.
"Uhhh..nothing", he replied, praying that she wouldn't find out what he had been up to. But he was out of luck.
The draenei slowly walked over to the SuperSnapper FX, never leaving him out of her sight.
Having reached it, she just threw a quick glance at it, and then, to his horror, said, "I've seen such a thing before. You can make images with that! That flash and sound..that wasn't a rifle, was it?". She glared at him.
He was desperately trying to come up with some lie, stammering gibberish, when the elf, fully dressed now, appeared behind the draenei.
"Lili, pick this up, will you", the draenei said to the elf, who obliged.
"What's this? There's a slip of paper coming out of it", she said and pulled the piece of paper out of the SuperSnapper FX.
Glibzbit knew exactly what was on that paper. If they found out they would surely kill him.
"That machine makes images when you point it at something. What's on the paper?", the draenei asked the elf.
"It looks like some image, but it's too dark here, i can't make it out".
"That's nothing, it's just an image of the ocean!", Glibzbit quickly said, hoping against all hope that they would just throw the picture away and not find out what exactly he had been supersnapping.
But the draenei was not one to be easily fooled.
"You're making an image of the ocean. At night? That makes no sense. Lili, let's get to the fire and look at it in the light. And you, goblin, move, or you're dead!"
Seeing his own end approaching, Glibzbit grudgingly followed the two to the fire.

Once there, the elf looked again at the paper, and gave a gasp, her eyes widening in terror.
"What is it?", the draenei, still intently watching him with bow drawn, asked.
"It's..it's..me", the elf stuttered.
"What? Let me see!", the draenei said to the elf, then to him, "and if you move you'll have an arrow in your back!"
The draenei took the picture from the elf and looked at it in the light of the fire.
"That little peeping tom!", the draenei said exasperated, and he felt his final moment approaching, closing his eyes.
But after a few seconds he was still alive, and carefully opened an eye to squint at the draenei.
To his wonder, the tall blue creature was not in the movements of releasing an arrow into him, but still looking at the picture. What was happening here? Why wasn't she killing him yet?
Then he understood, seeing the wanton look on the face of the draenei studying the picture in her hands intently, and began to see a way out of this predicament. If she hadn't killed him yet, perhaps she might let him live after all.

He threw himself to the ground and started to plead to the draenei.
"I admit it! I admit it all! I was on my way to the south beach to find and supersnap the legendary El Gummerito, when i came upon you. I was just about to approach you and wish you a good evening, when i noticed that you were..indecent. Of course i was about to turn right back, not wanting to intrude on your privacy, but..i couldn't! You may kill me for it if you must, but i simply wasn't able to take my eyes away from the grace and beauty of your friend! Alas i'm just a poor goblin, who never in his whole life has seen such a wondrous thing as an unclothed elf maiden! I simply couldn't turn my eyes away, however much i wanted to, on my honor! And then i remembered my prized SuperSnapper FX, which i had with me to capture the great El Gummerito on paper. I just couldn't stop my hands from using it to snap a picture of your beautiful friend! It happened almost from alone! I swear, on my life, that i just wanted to have something to remember the most glorious moment of my life, the picture was just for my very own private keeping, never to be shown to anyone else, i swear by whatever god or goddess you follow! You must admit it! No male in his right mind could ever pass up such an opportunity, so beautiful and enchanting is your elven friend!"
It was the longest and, in his opinion, best speech he had ever delivered. And it seemed he had hit the mark, when the draenei lowered her bow, and, looking at the elf, said, "Well, he has a point."
"What? He made a picture! Of me! In the nude!" the elf exclaimed.
But the draenei began to grin at the elf. "I wouldn't have passed up the chance!"
The elf made a facial expression he did not understand, but the draenei giggled at her.
Then she turned back to him, her face serious again.
"Well perhaps you are right. At least it's not a reason to kill you. But i'm keeping this!", she pointed at the picture in her hand, to which he was about to say something, but then decided not to press his luck anymore, and nodded in agreement.
"Are there any more? Pictures of her i mean", she asked him, her eyes piercing.
"Oh no, just that one. One flash and bang, one picture. That's all there is! I swear!"
"Hmpf. Well you can go then. But don't cross our paths again. Ever! Oh and also, i'm keeping this!"
She picked up the SuperSnapper FX, which the elf had earlier deposited near them before looking at the picture.
He couldn't stop himself from beginning to protest.
"Oh please no, it took me a whole year of work to afford it! Please, it's all i have, i need it! Take what you want from me, but please not my SuperSnapper.."
But before he could finish, the draenei cut him short.
"You can keep it. It's broken", she said, and shoved the contraption at him.
"What?"
He couldn't believe it. This couldn't be. But then he saw what the draenei had seen. The lens was broken. It must have happened when he had dropped the device.
He was near tears. How could such a great day turn out so terribly awful?
Now he had lost everything. The picture was gone, and his SuperSnapper FX broken.
The draenei, obviously amused at his misery, shooed him away.
"Now be gone, before i change my mind!"
She grabbed her bow, and he, broken SuperSnappef FX in his arms, decided that he should be happy to be alive, and took off.

Wallowing in his misery, trying to calculate how many days of work it would cost him to afford a replacement lens, he was about to put his SuperSnapper FX into his backpack, when he saw a button glowing slightly yellow, that he hadn't noticed earlier near the fire's light.
The symbols below the button, barely visible in the relative darkness, seemed to spell the word 'Repeat'.
He wondered what that button did and was about to hit it, when he hesitated, remembering what had happened the last time he had hit a button on the device.
He decided it prudent to first consult the manual, so he walked on for a while, making sure to be very far from the elf and her draenei companion, before setting camp and starting a fire.
When he consulted the manual and found the description of the yellow button, his heart started beating faster.
The description read: "Prints out the last image again".
And true enough, when he hit the button, with a slight whirring noise followed by a 'ding', the machine spat out another picture of the naked elf.
He jumped up, cheering.
He felt glorious. He'd become rich and famuous after all, he thought with the widest grin on his face.